I’m alone in this struggle

By Trillia Newbell

I have had several conversations over the past years that go a little something like this:

Me: How are you doing?

Fearfully Wonderfully Made Friend: Fine.

Me: Oh, great. What’s new?

FWMF: Well, actually I’ve been having a hard time with (fill in the blank). I feel like I’m alone in this struggle!

Girls, ladies, women, you are not alone. You are not alone in any struggle.  I’ll tell you, I’ve used that line too. A few years ago I went through a dark night of the soul and felt completely alone. I have come to find out that I was never alone. As my sorrows began to lift I  began to clearly understand what the solution was for my angst. Are we just not sharing enough? Is it simply that we are embarrassed by our sin or struggle? Maybe we think we need to have it all together. I’m not sure what it is, but I think I might know the solution.

We failed, we fail

There is nothing that is too embarrassing to bring to the Lord. He already knows. Though I never want to stay here for too long, it’s always good to recognize that we fail. We sin and if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves (1 John 1:8). We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). Let me also say that every struggle IS NOT SIN! But often it can lead to it.

If you are a Christian, you have power to say ‘no’ to sin (Rom 6:2-3).  But let’s face it, we fail. We fall short all of the time. Knowing this  is freeing to me. It’s good to know that I’m not perfect. Though I hope to obey God and hope not to succumb to my feelings, knowing that there’s still a fight to fight in my soul is helpful. It helps me not to be too surprised when I do fail. I can face my short-comings for what they are. I don’t have to be embarrassed by them. I don’t have to feel alone in this struggle because all men fall short of the glory of God.

He did not fail

Then I think of my Savior. He did not fail. He obeyed perfectly. Because of His righteousness I am counted as righteous. I run to my Jesus and confess my sin and receive his forgiveness. He says to me, “your sins are as far as from the east is to the west” (Psalm 103:12). I acknowledge that He looks at me as if I’d always obeyed Him, as if I’ve obeyed him perfectly this whole time.

That is his sweet mercy and grace. That is His gospel for you.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15 ESV).

Relating to Women

I love conversations that end with crazy honest answers like, “My husband and I got into a huge fight and I threw a chair.” I can usually respond, “Really! Me too!” Maybe we all don’t throw chairs but most of us have been sinfully angry and to God we might as well have committed murder (Matt 5:22). You are not alone in your struggle- regardless of how that struggle is displayed.

One of the joys I have is deep friendships. I have a handful of ladies that I can share my most intimate thoughts and struggles with. Okay, honestly I’m a bit of an “open-book” and share many of my most intimate thoughts and struggles with you through this site too! I’m thankful that I’m not embarrassed to share my ugliness. My girlfriends aren’t shocked and apparently you aren’t either.

Do you have a godly friend you can share with? Maybe it’s a ministry leader or even a counselor. Have you felt alone lately; as if you are the only one struggling in a certain area? If so, know that you are not alone; you are not the only sinner on the block. God has made a way of escape for that struggle through His power and by His gospel.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV).

Run hard and fast to your Jesus and lay your troubles there. He has forgiveness for you. He has an undeniable, unquenchable love.

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