Miscarriage, Fear, and Isaiah

by Trillia Newbell

I knew there was something wrong when I began to get winded and felt slightly dizzy going up a set of stairs. Most miscarriages seem to have little to no symptoms but my first was full of evidence. I called my nurse and within a few days my personal diagnosis was confirmed. This would be the first of four miscarriages I would have throughout my first six years of marriage.

The sadness that comes along with miscarriages is indescribable. As a woman who understands that humanity begins at conception; the reality of a life—a son or a daughter—dying so young was very saddening. Yet there was always a comfort in knowing God’s love for me and Jesus’ relating to me (Hebrews 4:15). But at the mention of the possibility to try to conceive a third baby, of my seventh pregnancy, and the potential for a fifth miscarriage, I can begin to tremble in fear.

In the midst of my fear and trembling at the unknown, God gently reminds me of his words in Isaiah 41: 10, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

The same way God comforts me through Jesus, is the same way he comforts me through Himself, by reminding me of who he is. He is my God. He is my personal, intimate, fatherly God. He is with me. I am not alone in my fear. And because he is with me, I need not be dismayed. But my fight to not be dismayed isn’t made possible through my own strength. God provides the strength to trust him. He will strengthen me, He will help me, and He upholds me. I can receive his care and believe because he is God.

Oh that I may remember this daily as I pray and wait and trust.

 

Perhaps this is you too. Here are two resources to assist you if you are struggling with fear:

Isaiah, by J. Alec Motyer (A commentary)

Message and transcript: Fear Not, I Am With You, I Am Your God, John Piper, Desiring God

David Murray’s list of resources

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2 Comments to “Miscarriage, Fear, and Isaiah”

  1. David Murray says:

    Trillia, sorry to read of your long and painful trial. Here’s a resource page that may be of interest to you.
    http://headhearthand.org/blog/2011/01/13/miscarriage-death-of-a-child-need-help/

  2. admin says:

    Thank you so much, David! God has been very kind to bless me with two beautiful babies. I am truly a blessed woman!