Becoming a Titus 2 Woman

Older Women

Article by Kelly Tarr

I am currently immersed in the business of mommy-hood. Feeling pressed in from every angle, I parent without much help. I was not raised with a biblical framework, and so my early mommy years have been spent divided. The irony is, I’ve been busy growing up while at the same time, raising up my children before the Lord.

Can you relate?

My girl needs help reigning in her emotions, and it is hard to help when my own heart is falling apart around the same time every month. My little boy, who slips into a sulky mood when he doesn’t get what he wants, really grates on my nerves. Until I remember that he’s just like me.

What I need is help from a woman (or several!) who has gone before me. I need help from the body of Christ!

The Need for Titus 2 Women

In my current season, I am so blessed to have a Titus 2 woman in my life. My relationship with her is invaluable. I’ve called her many times in tears, unable to get a grip on something going on either in my heart or life. I’ve asked her “embarrassing” questions about parenting. I’ve asked her how to love my husband in a given situation. I’ve asked her how to be a friend. I’ve sat on her couch while she has spoken hard to hear, yet life-giving words regarding what she sees in my life. She knows Jesus more intimately than any other woman I know, and I believe this is the key to what makes her the Titus 2 woman that she is.

A woman like her is rare. I want to be like her. Over the past three years, I have grown and been transformed, in large part, due to her influence. As a result, I want to help younger women the way she has helped me.

But I haven’t always had her in my life. Many times before this season, I looked around wondering, “Where are the Titus 2 women?” It seems there’s a shortage in the generation before us. I’ve heard it several times, and Sally Clarkson has even mentioned it a time or two. I’m not exactly sure why it is so, and I want to be careful here not to dishonor any older women who aren’t walking in this role.

I don’t believe it should be this way. In Titus 2, the older women are given a command to teach younger women. Paul didn’t say “those women who are especially gifted in teaching, or those who have a bubbly personality are to teach, or those who have 7 children.” He said older women are to teach what is good and so train the younger women (Titus 2:3-4). How amazing would it be in 20 years for our generation to be full of older, wiser women walking in this way?!

We Can’t Impart What We Don’t Have

I have always wanted to be a Titus 2 woman. But it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve come to understand that whether I want to or not, I am to be a Titus 2 woman one day. With this comes the reality that if I’m not encountering the Lord in the secret places of my life, I won’t grow up to be a woman who can teach younger women.

I believe the reason my older friend has been such a help to me is because she has walked intimately with Jesus for the past 40+ years of her life. As she’s walked with Him, He has grown her up in all things. She would say she’s still growing—we always will be on this side of eternity—but she’s not the same woman she was 30 years ago. He has given her wisdom as she has chosen His way again and again in many situations when it would have been easier to let a root of bitterness grow or to remain paralyzed in fear.

The fact of the matter is that I can’t impart what I don’t have. If the life of Jesus isn’t increasing in me in these most trying of years, I won’t be able to one day give life to younger women. These years with small children are my crucible in which I’m being prepared for the next seasons of my life.

Preparation

When I desired to be married, I began to prepare myself to be a wife. I knew that simply because I desired to be a wife it didn’t mean I was going to be a good one! To prepare, I learned how to communicate and follow leadership. I spent time with married women, and I read books about it. I was intentionally preparing for a role that I knew I’d most likely be walking in one day. I knew that how I chose to live during the time of desiring to be married would affect how I would live once married.

In a similar manner, I have come to understand that when I’m 60, I won’t all of a sudden be a Titus 2 woman. Sure, I’ll be “older,” but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I will know how to love my husband and my children, or even be self-controlled. And it certainly doesn’t mean I’ll automatically be qualified to teach younger women these things! I must be walking in a way now that prepares me to assume the role later.

My pursuit of Jesus not only affects my own heart, but many hearts in the body of Christ. We are all given such specific roles, and if we aren’t first faithful to Jesus, we can’t fulfill the roles He’s given to us (Eph. 4:16). .

I want to be increasingly enamored with my Jesus. I want to know Him more fully as I age, so that His life in me will in turn bring life to many younger women. Will you join me in preparing to be the Titus 2 women He’s called us to be one day?

More about Kelly:

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Kelly is a wife of nearly 9 years, and a busy mom to three young children. She is a transplanted Yankee living in the South on 40 acres, has a love for running, and is dangerous with a good book…and an egg beater. Visit her at kellytarr.com.

 

 

 

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2 Comments to “Becoming a Titus 2 Woman”

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  2. Denise says:

    I have worked for 20 years with the Titus Two Concept. I had 6 children (5 boys and 1 girl). I wanted her to know the wonderful gift of being a woman. I had to grow in my role as a woman and was scared to death that she would not appreciate who she was in the midst of so many boys and a lacking mother. I started a ministry that ran for approximately 20 years called HeartLIFE. We had a 2 hour weekly time together where older women shared spiritually for an hour, taught life skills such as sewing/cooking/fine motor skill crafts and we ended in worship (15 minutes). We ran September through April and centered our time around 1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” This allowed my older ladies to teach in each category (1 a month) ending with the example of the believer. We saw 100s of girls go through our program in that amount of time. It was for 1-8 grades and when the students reached HS we assigned them to classes to be taught leadership/teaching/serving etc under the “older woman” in charge of the class. By the time the girls graduated from HS they were well on their way to mentoring as an “older” woman. We taught that no matter what your age, you are “older” to someone else in some way and therefore can mentor.

    I write this only to say that women need to realize that even the simple things like praying aloud, or building a loving friendship can lead to sharing and mentoring. Something that is a passion for women such as sewing/cooking etc ANYTHING can be the catalyst to developing another woman to share and become an example for Christ and to pass on a legacy for him.

    As a speaker and writer for this program for many years, I found the greatest reward was to see the desire women had to pass their legacy on. I am an enthusiastic believer in the Titus 2 concept and know God intended for us to impact others as we walk through this life in preparation for eternity.